Monday, March 2, 2009

An absolutely corny, feminine styled post.

Attention: I have not stolen this from somebody. I am capable of feminine, gushy, LAME outbursts. It will come back to haunt me, but I'll make up for it. ;]

It's a year since I met you, since I fell so quickly for you, since those students tried teasing me in their native tongue before I even knew you, since I tried justifying myself, since I heard your beautiful voice. It's nearly a year since I realised how I felt, since I ran to the other in hope of ignoring the voices in my mind telling me I should be chasing you, since you gave me "something to think about", since I left my partner for you, since you sang to me as we held hands tenderly with uncertainty, since you kissed my neck on the curb down the road from the others, and I pulled away...
It's nearly a year since I ran, far, far away; into the arms of one who needed me more than I needed them. I think about you, more than you could believe. Though as the hours and the tiniest of moments go on, I aim to think a little less & strive to put it in the past, as hard as it is, and continue. You don't want a piece of my inconsistency, and I don't need to dwell on what only causes me to ache and long for what I'm not able to obtain nor fully understand.

Now, as the days edge closer to the moment I ran, my boxed heart is letting itself lose for another. This time however, I don't think I'll be running. I'm not allowed to. I'm not letting myself. You're not letting me. By you (no longer the first being), anybody who has talked to me in the past 3 weeks knows who I mean. They know I'm speaking of them. They also know I'm now writing this because I refuse to let them read anything I've written elsewhere. Oh giggle.

It's an absolute treasure to have a story so magical, twisted and insane. To "have" somebody, so to speak. Somebody who can at least begin to comprehend my mind. It's all quite new to me. Ah, I don't get it. I'm being helped to understand & learn new things, all over again. I've been contained so long... I think it's time I let loose. Being treated like a female and not always having lead is so incredibly odd and out of this world for me... I think it's time for another drink.

I'm wrapped in ribbons (help unravel me).


Kikki S said...

you my dear, deserve all the romanicness, lovliness and amazingness on this earth.
let him treat you like the beautifulness you are.

i adore you, i am proud of you and i look up to you.

you are my star. let him treat you like one.

i love you my boyfrined. now we can be boyfriends together. :-}

charlibrownlove said...

Your insanely amazing :D

I havent spoken to you in a while - i miss it.

Can you write a book or something so i can read it daily and have it as my bible?