Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I know nobody could ever fill your shoes.

Here, is what I scrawled between 6 and 6:30 this morning...
I thought that with the way it seemed to address an audience, it deserved to make an appearance on my blog of nonsense.

I'm sick and tired of hearing things from up tight, short sighted, narrow minded hypocrites.

All I want is the truth, just gimme some truth.
I've had enough of reading things by neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians.
All I want is the truth, just gimme some truth.

Oh, too true John. How you've revolutionised my view on life, love, and all in between...

Note: There are 97 songs on my laptop with the word "love" in the title (because of time and how much frustration I would endure if I was to go through every. single. song on here and dig deep to see if there was some meaning of love, I am going to stick with titles) . In that 97, there are 10 different versions of "Love hurts".
"Why?" You may be asking yourself... Well, I will answer you. Once upon a time, in the land of Scrubs, J.D decided to take his first date with Kim on a bare back horse riding trip, on the beach. Of course, he thought that it wouldn't cause him an immense amount of pain.
Here is when Nazareth's "Love hurts" begins playing. As the screen pans back and forth from J.D and his date, the great pain he is experiencing is shown in a comedic style (whilst she is rather enjoying herself) and the song takes on a twisted meaning. Quite clever, I must say.

Back to the story. After seeing this, for some odd reason, I decided to see how many versions of the song I could find on the ol' limewire 'ere... Many of which have now been deleted, and 10 remain. Nazareth's version shall, however, always be the greatest... I don't think I'll ever, EVER be able to hear it in the same way without a giggle escaping from my mouth.


Isn't it peculiar how often this term "love" is thrown about? Do people realise that having feelings for somebody, or just the faintest sign of a single fluttering butterfly does not neccessarily mean "love"? On occassion, they may be the start of something big, life changing. Other times though, I believe it's more just.......... Intrigue, obsession, lust, or desire- amongst other emotions. I've been there countless times. Whilst I'm at it, I may as well add that I truly believe there is a difference between loving somebody (i.e- friend love, or innocent relationship happenings) and being in-love. Think about it. If we were in-love with every person we had had a romantic inkling about (yes- this includes those 'funny feelings' you may have had for a teacher, a boss, or the stranger who flashed you a smile when you served them at work) life would be truly terrible due to the bullshit confusion we'd have to confront on a day-to-day basis- we have enough of it already. Finding 'true' love could come about in a way such as these examples from off the top of my head, but in all honesty- what are the odds? Love is around all corners, so is heartbreak. Take it easy.

Before you go on thinking about how you know I am a great commitaphobe- it does not mean that I am incapable of love, it does not mean I have not been in love, and it most definitely does not mean that I am being hypocritical in saying this. These are observations that I can only assume those with half a brain have made, and I am in need of venting on these particular thoughts. Let me state my case, and what a few of my issues are.

First off, I am far too paranoid. That's my problem, right there.

To quote the Beach Boys (first thing off the top of my head, lol):

Well it's been building up inside of me for oh, I don't know how long.
I don't know why but I keep on thinking something's bound to go wrong.
But she looks in my eye, and makes me realise when she says:
"Don't worry baby, don't worry baby. Everything will turn out alright.

The second something seems too comfortable to me/ falling too hard/too much of a routine/ no excitement/no "drama", so to say- I completely freak-the-fuck out and don't like the way things are progressing. It's not always going to change due to circumstance and effort, sometimes it's just not right. I enjoy the chase, and knowing somebody loves me scares me. The responsibility, topped off with thinking that I could hurt them... Sigh. Hm. Maybe what I need to do is verbalise my opinion more often. Being nice only makes the significant other believe everything is a-okay, am I right? Oh yes, relationships ARE about give and take, but if you're not content or happy about the way things are, changes have to be made.
I can hand out out advice- it's always harder taking it.
Ah, to have loved and to have lost... Not always better than never having loved at all. However, that is another story (probably my biggest issue of all, I would say).

Side note: Figuring out myself in the land of pixels, how classy.

This, is love to me. A memory. A dodgy video, on a dodgy digital camera, on a beautiful evening.

I can see so clearly when your smoke gets in my eyes
Please me with your promises, and hurt me with your lies
Baby can you hear, the message I am sending?
Love me like the world is ending.

6:30 am, I think it's time to try get some rest again...

1 comment:

Kikki S said...

love, love love.
love, love, love.

there's nothing you can do that cant be done
nothing you sing that cant be sung
nothing you can say but you can learnt how to play the game.


we are both just two love sick fools.

i love you.